Topic Tuesday: Recovery
“Recovery: 4 Years” (By: Mackenzie Fox)
March 7, 2013 was the first time I ever sat down in front of a therapist to talk about my eating disorder. I consider this day my first day of recovery. Looking back on those four years, I have to remind myself that recovery has a lot of bumps and some setbacks. It’s not going to look like other people’s recovery. I don’t typically make a big deal about this anniversary to anyone else but it’s always there, silently hanging around. Then I saw a message from Facebook from a year or so later from a coworker. He said, “I’m so happy that the real Mac is back at work.” It shook me a little bit. My eating disorder had changed me. It had made me a different person. And those of you that have suffered know that ED tells you constantly that you aren’t good enough, that ED makes you better. Looking back on that message made me realize that in the moment that coworker told me that, it was exactly what I needed to hear. To know that ‘old Mackenzie’, Mackenzie without the eating disorder, was so loved. And she was amazing. And no matter what ED said, I didn’t need to participate in behaviors to be worthy of anything. Simply being just makes me worthy of love.
This is going to be a short post but I want to end it by saying, if you’re struggling or just need to hear it today: You are so worthy of love. The real you, the you without ED, is missed.
About the Author
Mackenzie Fox is a Nashville native who is happy to share her stories of her eating disorder and recovery in hopes that she can help others. She spends her days weight lifting, mentoring high school students as they prepare for college and spending time with her two cats, Tonks and Maleficent. She is a total cat lady and goof ball who wants to show people that there is absolutely an amazing life after an eating disorder.