Topic Tuesday: Conquering Fear

“I Like Myself More” (By: Lindey Knox)

In healing from Lindey_Knox_2014_v1my eating disorder I recognized the power of fear, or rather, the power I gave fear in my life.

I always knew that my approach to fitness and health was not healthy, let alone sustainable. I was a master at convincing myself that I could stop living in my eating disorder at any time. I even attempted, several times, to stop with the disordered and restrictive eating habits and endless hours at the gym. My success was always short lived.

Fear had a strong presence in my life and became louder when I entertained the idea of breaking up with my eating disorder and calling it quits. Fear would sneak in, ever so quietly and with such ease, and speak in “what-ifs.”

What if you do not diet and over exercise, will you like yourself?

For years fear gripped my soul and my answer was “No…there’s no way I will like myself, especially my body.” I allowed fear to decide for me rather than question it and truly ask myself “Will I like myself without my eating disorder?” 

7 years into my eating disorder I started to wonder, what would freedom from my eating disorder look like? What would it feel like to not live life based on a rule book of what I could and could not do? What would it feel like to escape this prison? I was holding the key, was I ready to get out?

It would be risky, and I would sacrifice the comfort and security I had grown accustomed to in my eating disorder, but could I experience freedom from the prison I locked myself in?

The answer is yes. It was yes for me and can be yes for you too.

Take the next step, just one step, and walk into the unknown. Whether that’s sharing your struggle with a family member or close friend, seeking out wise counsel from a therapist or dietitian or purchasing a self- help book, take the next step. Freedom is on the other side and it is much better.

One of the many beautiful outcomes in healing from my eating disorder is that I like myself better.

Yes, I like myself better.

For one, I no longer live in prison. That alone will bring great joy. Outside of not living in the prison of an eating disorder, I enjoy life more than I ever have. I laugh and smile more. I am less judgmental and have more grace and compassion for others through healing from my own struggle. And most of all, I love myself and treat my body as one who loves herself.

Don’t let fear hold you back. The other side of where you are is better and you will not look back once you taste freedom.

About the Author

Lindey has lived in the Nashville area since middle school. Lindey battled with her eating disorder for 9 years but over the past 3 years has experienced great healing and freedom. Her passion is to encourage women of all ages and to help them discover their purpose and passions. At first sharing her story was not an easy task but over the years she’s learned that vulnerability and honesty helps build relationships and relationships are important for healing and growth. Lindey worked in advertising for over 5 years and currently serves as the Executive Assistant to a CMO at a local business in the Nashville area.