Topic Tuesday: Reliance
“Learning to Walk with Others on The Road to Recovery” (By: Elizabeth Jordan)
Something I learned in recovery was that you have to expect to be uncomfortable. You have to live through painful emotions and uncomfortable physical changes to reach your healing destination. It is also a time in which you have to let support in, not push it away.
The first thing I did when I began to fall down the path that led me to an eating disorder was shut people out. I did it in order to shelter my emotions and to shield myself from the judgment of others. Not only that, but I also did not want people to ask me to eat with them in fear of what they would have me eat or if they would pressure me to eat. This resulted in a loss of friendship and it created nothing but distance. However, in order to get better, I had to understand the value of relationships and I had to understand just how much I needed people and their support. It was the visits from friends that gave me courage and strength. In the hospital I had a clear view of the walls, hallways, and a window view of the outside. However, my access to the outside was limited due to my need to be in bed. I had to gain weight, so I could not do anything that would hinder the weight gain. With that being said, I had to have people to support and help me through that change. It was not easy to see the scale go up through the remaining weeks, and I truly had to have people there holding my hand reminding me that this was a step into normalcy.
Another thing I realized along my recovery journey was the need to express when I needed help and was weak. I think it is in those moments where one’s strength is evident and undeniable. It is a choice and a choice that is necessary. When you are wrapped in an eating disorder, you are truly incapable of helping yourself out. It is through the words, actions, and support of others where I was able to move forward and get to a place I needed to be at in order to return to life again. It may not be today and it may not be tomorrow. However, I encourage anyone who is dealing with an eating disorder and just dealing with life to surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you, because those people will serve as your support base when you find yourself in moments where you feel all is lost. We need people. We need people and we need relationships.
Elizabeth Jordan is a junior at Trevecca Nazarene University in Nashville, Tennessee. She is a Worship Arts major and Social Work minor. She was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa at the age of thirteen. Her experience with the illness has created in her a passion to work and help others dealing with similar circumstances. She plans on using her degrees to focus on the issue of eating disorders and assure that the truth is always communicated and lives are transformed and changed. Also, her hope is that she can somehow intertwine her passion for leading worship with her passion for helping others who are enveloped in this life-threatening illness or who are in danger of its development in their life.