Topic Tuesday: Adjusting

“Adjusting” (By: Mackenzie Fox)

I have a few years of firm recovery under my belt at this point and some times that really feels like concrete, unbreakable. I think I had taken for granted what the struggle of recovery feels like sometimes but life had been sort of smooth. Recently, however, I’ve been dealing with a few medical issues that are greatly effecting my ability to eat and what I eat. While I don’t weigh myself, I could notice a difference in my body and the way it felt. I found myself being tired and unable to move my body in the way that I once was able to. These physical symptoms were manifesting into disordered thoughts that hadn’t crossed my mind in years. It’s a scary place to be, feeling this unstable ground for the first time in what feels like forever.

But you know what? I think this has been the ultimate test of recovery for me. Finding out that I’m capable of surviving in times of trouble is a powerful revelation and I hope that at some point you get to feel in your own recovery; this nest that you’ve built yourself as you go to therapy and treatment, and meet with your team, I hope you get to feel that catch you when you feel like you’re falling. My hope for all of those in recovery is that you can lean into your recovery when it feels like things might be falling apart. You are so much more powerful than your eating disorder leads you to believe.

About the Author

Mackenzie is a Nashville native currently pursuing her Masters of mental health counseling from Trevecca Nazarene University. She has special interest in LGBT groups and body image issues & eating disorders. Full time she works in multifamily property management as an assistant property manager. She spends her free time weightlifting, yoga and spending time with friends and family.